Borrowed Angels
by Before the Sun Sets
Summary: She was just a borrowed angel, and it seems heaven needed her back again. Songfic to Kristen Chenoweth’s Borrowed Angels. Collins POV


**Disclaimer: **RENT is the beautiful brainchild of Jonathan Larson, not me. I don't own the song _Borrowed Angels_ by Kristen Chenoweth either.

**Summary: **She was just a borrowed angel, and it seems heaven needed her back again. Songfic to Kristen Chenoweth's Borrowed Angels. Collins POV

**A/N**: I heard this song, and I felt a NEED to write this. A NEED I tell you. Be nice, please, since this is my first shot at a songfic, and my first shot at angsty writing, AND my first shot at a first-person written fic. Please review, I want to know how I did! Unless it's a flame… then keep it to yourself.

**Recommended Listening:** Borrowed Angels

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She'd always had that kind of aura about her. She was so happy and bright, I could almost see it, shining around her. It seemed like others could see it to, and were drawn to her like a magnet, even if she was a bit different. That's exactly what I loved about her, that and everything else.

_  
They shine a little brighter, they feel a little more  
They touch your life in ways no one has ever done before _

Everyone she met came away changed, touched by her kind, loving spirit. Not a one person who spoke to her didn't feel blessed; not a single one didn't love her in some way. I know I'm blessed; I loved her with all my heart. I still do. And she loved me back. She showed me what love truly feels like, what a gift it is.

_  
They love a little stronger, they live to give their best  
They make our lives so blest, so why do they go so soon? _

Why did she have to go? Why couldn't I have died in her place? She deserved so much more in life; more than she could possibly get in only twenty two years, though I tried my best. She gave so much to everyone, never caring about her own needs.

"Today for you, tomorrow for me"… I can still hear her saying it, every time I walk into the Loft and remember that Christmas Day. She looked so beautiful that day; but then, she always did. Even when she had to dress in regular clothes for whatever reason. She still looked beautiful to me, no matter what.

She was one of those amazing people whose beautiful soul shines through to their outside, there for everyone to see and marvel at, and know they've met a true angel.

_  
The ones with souls so beautiful  
I heard someone say--  
There must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life  
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright _

She was an angel, no doubt about it. Her name fit her down to the last inch. Even her middle and last names; they were so unique, so unforgettable. Just like her. She lit up the world, no matter what she was doing. When she walked into a room, I could see it get brighter, and everything suddenly seemed less of a problem. Maybe it was just me, maybe it was just my love for her pushing my problems away. Personally, I think everyone could see it. Everyone saw her lighting up their world.

_  
But they can't stay forever  
Cause they're heaven sent  
And sometimes, heaven needs them back again _

I still just can't understand it. Why did she have to go? Why did she have to have her life cut off so suddenly, after such a short time? And she left such a huge hole in everyone's life. I feel like my heart's been torn out and thrown on the ground, left there to bleed itself out. No one could possibly fill her space; no one. There's no way anyone but her could possibly touch people like she did.

_They reach a little deeper, they see what's in your soul  
And even when they leave you know, you'll never let them go _

_The world's a little richer, just cause they came along  
Their love goes on and on, so why do they go so soon?_

She always knew exactly what someone was thinking or feeling, if they were down or if they were angry. She always knew just what to do to make it better. It was absolutely amazing the way people just opened up to her, and she helped every one of them. No one who's ever even seen her can forget her; I've been asked by countless people where she went. It hurts more and more every time, and yet I'm proud of my girl for touching so many people, for making an impression that they never forgot.

Especially the life support group. They all felt it, too. There were some days where we just sat there in silence, finding some comfort in knowing everyone missed her as much as they did. And yet, we could still feel her presence, her love for all of us, filling that room in the Ryder Community Center where we'd all spent so much time together.

_The ones with souls so beautiful. I heard someone say--  
They must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life  
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright  
They can't stay forever, cause they're heaven sent  
And sometimes, heaven needs them back again _

Maybe someone up there in heaven needed their angel back. Maybe God himself needed her help. I could believe that. That's the only reason I can believe for them taking her back so early. And if there is a heaven, I'm sure she's there, helping them all with their divine problems.

_How else can you explain why they're here and not here to stay? _

Maybe they all saw what a shithole New York City had become for those of us unlucky enough to fall on the lower side of the economic spectrum. Maybe they decided to let us all borrow their angel, let us all learn what it truly meant to live, to love, and to lose as well. We were all becoming so numb, but she woke up our feelings. Even though I don't think this hole in my chest will ever heal, it was worth it to know her. I'd rather live with this pain for the rest of my life and know she's waiting for me up there than not have known her at all.

_I believe there must be, must be  
Borrowed Angels, here in this life  
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright  
But they can't stay forever, cause they're heaven sent  
And sometimes heaven needs them back again. _

Well, fine. Whoever's up there, you decided to take our angel back after such a short time. I guess you must have had a good reason for it. You sent her down her for a good reason, and you better have had as good a reason for taking her back.

_  
And sometimes heaven needs them back again._

I know you're up there, my angel. I know you're waiting for me. When it's my time, I'm coming up there to find you. And then we can spend eternity together.

I love you, my Angel…

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Review please... 


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